Recently, Senator John F. Kerry claimed that the current Hezbollah-Israel war would not have occurred if he occupied the White House, rather than George W. Bush.
Certainly, it begs the question, "what else would, or would not happen" if the junior senator from Massachusetts had won the 2004 election.
Here are the top 9:
9. Osama would drop out of Al-Qaeda, join Peace Corps.
8. Natural disasters such as hurricanes, earthquakes, and herds of crop-eating locusts which have historically been called "Acts of God," would henceforth be referred to as "Acts of Kerry."
7. Windsurfing would replace baseball as national pasttime.
6. Global warming would be so drastically reversed that ice caps would form in Las Vegas.
5. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes would not have engaged in procreation.
4. President Kerry selects Oliver Stone to direct Kerry-penned screenplay, "Christmas in Cambodia,"---and it wins Oscar for Best Picture.
3. OPEC would decide out of the goodness of their hearts to sell oil to the Yankee-dog-infidels for $29.95 a barrel.
2. Kim Jong-il would forfeit elevator shoes, funny sunglasses, toupee, and all nuclear capabilities.
1. First Lady Teresa Heinz Kerry would stand on the White House veranda and exclaim, "Let them eat Heinz ketchup !"